My husband and I shamelessly and hopelessly miss each other whenever we are separated (temporarily). Our misery begins days before the scheduled departure date. I feel that he is completely dependent on me and that in my absence, he is incapable of taking care of himself. Sadly, he feels the same about me and hence, we give tons of instructions and advises to each other. Since I am the one leaving him behind (almost every time), I even start reconsidering my travel plans. But there haven’t been any cancellations yet.
In my attempt to console him and myself more, I make an effort to write a long note to him and keep in his bedside drawer for him to read whenever he wants to. I can most conveniently convey everything I had written over the phone but I prefer leaving a physical proof. I imagine him reading the note immediately after I leave but that doesn’t happen. He saves it for many days after, the reason he says is that he doesn’t want it to be over. Sweet!
Once I wrote to him that though I just dread the heartaches whenever we need to part, it is a sign that we aren’t tired of each other. My heart doesn’t hurt because I will be lonely, I cry because I feel sad that he will be alone and that he will miss me. At the same time, he feels sad because he thinks that I will not take good care of myself and he worries. I wrote that the day we don’t feel the need to even smile as the other is leaving is the day we should realize that maybe we are done and probably contemplate on whether it is worth working on it. He agreed.
It may seem like a silly way of judging our relationship but spending time with each other is probably the most important thing to both of us. We know that if we don’t enjoy and value ‘our’ time, there is no point being together. Therefore, every decision about our future is highly ruled by the question “how much time will we get to ourselves?”. Just being together isn’t enough though. We can spend time with even strangers. Enjoying each other’s company and not bearing it for anything’s sake is crucial.
As much as we love being together, both of us also acknowledge how our ‘apart’ time benefits us. Everybody needs a break from each other every now and then. When re-united again, my husband and I are shamelessly (again) excited. We cannot hide it. I am a hopeless romantic at heart and I am happiest when he isn’t scared to show his emotions either. Thankfully, it isn’t always happy and loving emotions.